My ‘Secret’ Valentine’s Day Gift From Him Who Doesn’t Believe

Pssstt…I have a secret! Yes, I have a secret to tell you about Valentine’s Day and my other half. I was going to write a post about how meaningful Mondays are to me but since today, being February 14th and all, I HAD to write about it and it’s meanings don’t I?

My oh-so-loving DH doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day! Yup! He told me that when we first met all those years ago. The romantic in me told him, “Oh, that’s because you haven’t really met the right woman to express this special day with”. And he’s been married once before. No matter how much I cajoled him to think about celebrating it, he kept on saying “It’s an American consumerism thing”, “It’s created by Hallmarks to make more money”, etc. Sigh…

Our first February 14th together was exactly 11 years ago. We were stationed in Germany at that time. I came back up to our hotel room, after breakfast, to find 2 dozen yellow roses, my favourite. No…I don’t really care for the cliched red ones as yellow to me is like sunshine. And he remembered. Do you know why I got those roses despite his convictions? Just 2 days ago we found out I was pregnant with our firstborn girl. DH told me “If I was going to give you flowers for February 14th, this is the best reason ever!”.

Almost every year, he reluctantly got reminded by me way ahead, “Feb 14th is coming honey…” I would inevitably arrange something along the lines of romance for this day. It doesn’t help that living in Singapore and England, we were surrounded by big signs at most shops that if you love someone, you’ll buy them this heart cushion, that cuddly bear, those chocolates.

Thank God for DH, living in the Netherlands, where the people are not so much into commercial “American Culture” (my observation), he’s spared those red glowing signs everywhere. And after 11 years, I admitted defeat to him. I told him last week, I don’t expect ANYTHING from him anymore. Yes, ladies! I, the perpetual romantic, have decided that I don’t need anything showy from him on February 14th.

Guess what he did? This past weekend, he did show me how much he loves me, Valentine’s Day or not. And he did it, reluctantly as it is, with the best of heart. We were out shopping for groceries at an Oriental store in the city centre. I was joking about missing ‘durian’, otherwise known to the Asians as King Of Fruits. DH then told me, since it’s V day on Monday, he would let me buy Durian Ice Cream as a sign of his love.

For those of you not in the know, Durian is like a smelly, but tasty Gorgonzola cheese. You either love it or you hate it. And dear readers, you can imagine, my other half hates it to his core. Can’t stand the smell of it, can’t stand the taste of it and he told me in no uncertain terms when we got married, durian will never be allowed into our marital home. And to tell that to an Asian who loves it is like telling a Frenchman, he can never drink a glass of wine ever again.

I was shocked to the core! Wow! After years of being married, DH is actually offering to buy me his most hated fruit/food as a sign of his love. He’s always maintained that he doesn’t need V day to show me how much he loves me. There’s birthdays, anniversaries (of which we have THREE!), Christmases and those random days when he feels like indulging me for whatever reasons. I guess I finally am giving in to his views. In any case, I’m one happy Goddess, being able to indulge in a particular food, bought with love from her other half.

So what is your Durian (i.e your Valentine’s Day gift) today? Share with me!

*Blog post first published on 14th Feb 2011.