7 Top Tips to Love Yourself More Today

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A spoonful of sweetnes a day keeps the doctor away

7 Top Tips to Love Yourself

One of the basic needs of every child born in this world is love. Besides food, water and air, in order to grow to be a healthy child and then adult, this child must be given love and lots of care and kindness.

Sometimes, some adults feel that they didn’t receive enough love and care growing up. I am sure a lot of parents tried their best but sometimes their society at large has impacted them more than they realise.

In order to receive love from others, be it romantically or socially (friends and colleagues), we first need to learn to love ourselves unconditionally. Here are my top tips for you to start that self-loving journey. A journey that will hopefully lead you to ultimate happiness.

 

  1. Start the day by being grateful. When you get up from the bed, take a few seconds just to appreciate that you’ve been given another day to live and experience life. Another day to smile at your loved ones and another day to see the sun. Give yourself a hug or a pat on the arms if you can. Reinforce this idea with this act.
  2. Tell yourself there’s only one of you in this world when you look in the mirror, whether you’re brushing your teeth or putting on your makeup. Why not be the best you out there every single day! You are made of the most unique of DNA and you are made of the same material as the stars and yes, that’s scientifically correct. So shine like the star you really are. Make that smile as bright and as beautiful as you can. (which incidentally will also switch on the feel-good hormones!)
  3. Have more body appreciation. Many people today, women especially, though the numbers for men are climbing, don’t appreciate their body enough. We are too fat/too thin/too short/too tall/too hairy/too smooth/too scrawny/too…..fill in your own blanks here… Did you ever think about what a miracle our body really is? How many beats per minute your heart is making, how your stomach digests all that food you’re eating, the way your blood gets pumped through your veins and even how you can sense things even when you can’t see it. Stop beating yourself over things you cannot change (the shape of your body, your height, how straight or curly your hair is etc) and focus on the parts you are very proud of. Have you got strong shoulders? Then pull it back and stand tall. Have you got expressive eyes? Make sure they stay hydrated so they can keep twinklinAre youare a ball of knowledge? Sharpen your wit and humour so others can learn and laugh with you.
  4. Your body is your own temple so treat it with the best care. It’s your sacred space’ so much like a temple/church/mosque, whereby visitors have to treat it with respect, so should you. Why not only feed your body with the best and healthiest food? As a holistic therapist who is also a certified Weight Loss Master Coach, I want you to ban the word diet or stop associating it as a weight loss method. Diet in the actual sense just means what you’re feeding your body. Ever heard ‘stop dieting and the pounds will drop’? When we focus on the bad (the weight gain) then only the bad will stay (the pounds/fats). So start focusing on the good. Look at food as fuel just like the tank of a car. There’s only so much the tank can take so buy the best that you can afford to. Change your relationship with food. Look at them as beautiful colourful fuel from Mother Earth, sent to you to nourish and love you.
  5. Surround yourself with the best and kindest people. Too many of us are afraid to get rid of so-called family or friends with toxic behaviour. These toxic vampires suck the good energy out of you and leave you feeling drained and even unloved. When we were children, do you remember looking up to a sports star or a teacher and wanting to be like them? No one wants to emulate the behaviour of a negative person yet if we spend time enough with this “vampires” sooner or later their vibes will rub off on us. So start hanging out with that cool neighbourhood artist whose work you’ve always admired or ask if that foodie friend could teach you a few cooking tips. Or maybe you’re looking to improve your computer skills? Why not have coffee with that quiet geek who seems to know his stuff? Get good vibes from people who are willing to share their knowledge with passion. That is kindness right there.
  6. Do community work whenever you are able to. Nothing makes us more humble of our existence than helping others less able than us. Being kind to others is a part of the journey to self-love. We are constantly practising love when we help others. When we do community work, we have to set aside our egos and prejudices. Can’t spare regular time to help? Don’t fret. Just put your name down for any disaster relief in your city/town. Just knowing that you are willing to help others without any remuneration is enough for your mind to register that you are a kind person.
  7. Never stop learning. The very fact that you’ve decided to follow me and read my humble blog is a testament to your desire to learn more and to explore. Constantly learning and educating ourselves is a testament that we deserve the best for our minds to grow. As children, we were naturally curious; curious about the way things work, how things happen, etc. Do you remember annoying your parents with endless “Whys?” and “Hows?”. Sometimes they were patient enough to explain yet sometimes you were brushed off to go and learn for yourself. Today, education is at the tip of our fingers really. With the advent of the internet age, there is no reason for someone to say they can’t get some info. The more you learn, the more you want to know. The more you know, the more you will realise there’s still so much you don’t know! Keep being humbled by this knowledge and use this as a reason to learn from people, new and familiar. You might just be surprised at what your new hobby might be!

Connect with Your Inner Goddess- First Workshop for Women to find Self Love and Perfection

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The Perfect Woman

Does she exist? Is there only 1 kind of perfection? Is there only 1 kind of goddess?

Throughout the ages, women have been confused with their roles and their images. Time to stop and take back control. Control of your own destiny and future. Come join me in my first ever London workshop for women of any background, ages, ethnicity and titles.


Tickets and full details are available here.

Date: Saturday 30th September 2017

Time: 2 – 5 pm

Location: Space in Marylebone – Elgood House – 10 Daventry Street – NW1 5NX, London

What I learned as an 18 yr old about work-life balance

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This lesson, though I received it young, served to be my founding stone on my journey to happiness. I have started sharing it again after almost 24 years (yes…you can guess my age now) keeping it quiet.

I met my 1st serious boyfriend, a young Dutch man, who was doing his MScBA internship in Singapore with a major Dutch shipping firm. When it was time for him to leave, he asked if I wanted to move to the Netherlands to be with him. I was working in market research at that time and wasn’t sure what I wanted to do further. He encouraged me to go back to school when in Rotterdam where he was studying at Erasmus University.

Moved there I did and went back to a college for credits to enter a local university but first to learn the local Dutch language.

One evening in spring, a beautiful sunny day indeed, he asked me to meet him after work at his building. He was then doing another work stint with Port of Rotterdam Authority and was based in this massive building. Told me to be there at 5 pm sharp. Just like the Germans, the Dutch are very serious about their times.

At 4:55 pm, I was standing in the lobby waiting to see him slowly come out of the bank of lifts. What I saw just after 5 pm shocked me. It was like a stampede. Throngs of workers were all rushing out, speed walking to the Metro station just beyond the building. By about a quarter past 5, it was almost quiet again. He came out and beckoned me to come over. Profusely saying sorry for coming down late, he asked me “Since it’s now quiet, would you like to come up and see the view of the river from my office?

I was a little surprised and worried that it was not professional and that other colleagues might not like family or partners coming into the office. Don’t forget I came from Singapore where office buildings will still be busy late into the night and workers are still banging away on their laptop way past the hour for reasonable dinner time. “Oh, don’t worry!” There’s no one there.

After the lovely office tour where I discovered one of my now favourite Dutch coffee cookie, we went for a lovely dinner by the waters. I still had this burning question in my head and just had to ask him.

“Why is everyone rushing home at exactly 5 pm? Aren’t they worried their bosses will think lowly of them for rushing home? Don’t they have work to do? If this is Singapore, you do this often enough, you’ll be fired! Aren’t your full-time colleagues worried??”

He smiled first and when seeing my wrinkled forehead with a worried look face, laughed. His father was one of the senior directors in the said major shipping firm and he told me, ‘he was never late for dinner with his 3 kids and my mum’. By this time I, of course, have known said dad and knew he was always home in time for dinner in a village 70km away from Rotterdam. I put it down as his dad being an older worker and was excused from ‘putting in the hours’.

Mr ex-BF proceeded to tell me the 4 main reasons why no respectable Dutch worker will stay longer than 5 pm at the office.

Now, are you ready to hear the reasons why the Dutch don’t encourage long hours at the office and therefore have better work-life balance and subsequently have the happiest children in the world?

  1. If you can’t finish the work for the day by 5 pm, you have bad time management meaning you could be the wrong person for the job meaning you could have bluffed your way into the job
  2. If you are really struggling to finish by 5 pm, the company has hired the wrong person for the job which means the hiring manager has made a mistake
  3. You are facing mental health issues which are affecting your work performance in which case the company would rather you settle that first rather than letting it affect your work performance
  4. If you are not jumping to leave at 5 pm, you are having marital/relationship problem which is causing you to stay away from home in which case it’s still affecting your work performance as happy parent means happy worker

It blew my 18 yr old mind away when my then 24 yr old boyfriend shared with me these points which his dad shared with him. Without realising it, it has set my path to finding happiness first in my life before allowing a job to fulfill me.

So as it was the case, my own husband was head hunted to be part of a project in the Netherland in early 2008. After clocking 70 hours at times, 4.5 years in the UK, he was grumbling how lazy his Dutch colleagues were to be excited to switch off the computer in the office at 5 pm ON THE DOT. It wasn’t long before the project director had a chat with him as to why he is happy to stay longer than 5 pm. When I told him about what I learnt all those years ago of the Dutch mentality, he finally understood. The penny literally dropped. For the next 4 years, he was ALWAYS home to cook dinner with me and put the kids to bed and went to sleep without the stress of 60-70 hrs week.

Here in the UK, I still see lots of unhappy and tired workers clocking longer than the 40 hrs they are paid for. I still hear of women (mums generally) refused jobs when they are not prepared to work longer than 7 pm. Many companies still don’t want to acknowledge that good mental health equals to great work attitude.

There have been many articles written on the productive and happy work environment of the Netherlands and Scandinavia for example. When will your company adopt it? Or more like when will you start adopting this idea yourself?

Tips to Help Alleviate Period Pains

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Do you suffer from bad cramps and bloating during ‘that time of the month’?

Join me as I share with you tips as a professional therapist and my experience of using my Belly Goddess Dance therapy to help me every month. In fact some of the moves can help with general back ache.

Let me know if it has helped you. And would you show me some love by subscribing to my YouTube channel? I’d love to share with you more if you let me! 🙂

Much love,

Ar’nie

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