My ‘New Skin’ Surgery 

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I was admitted at exactly 11am and for the first time since visiting the dermatology department of St George’s hospital, there was no delay. No chance for me to even open that barely read the magazine! Despite the department being the busiest I have even seen it. Throngs of people were waiting and queueing up for whatever reasons.

I was met by a lovely surgical nurse and a very good looking Chinese origin surgeon, a Dr Gin. They confirmed my name and date of birth a few times and checked that the site of the mole is the correct one as in the various medical notes. Dr Gin explained to me in detail what he was going to do and what I could be expecting. The operating theatre was really small and consisted of the bed and some basic medical equipment. I guess this being a room specifically meant for skin surgery, there wasn’t much ‘fancy’ equipment needed.

I was prepared for the skin to be exposed on my shoulder blade so had my cross back sports bra on and was told to just wear the hospital robe too. I asked if my husband could be allowed in the surgery room and he had to confirm he wasn’t squeamish or was likely to faint before the affirmative was given. Of course, lovely husband didn’t really want to see his wife being ‘cut open’ though so he sat in a corner of the room quietly with a book and pretended he wasn’t even there. LOL..

Dr Gin injected me with a local anaesthetic right by the mole area. I noticed that he was taking a while to finish injecting.  When I asked him, he said ‘I’m making sure you get a little extra so you get the numbing effect a little longer’. He must have remembered I told him I have 4 kids and that the younger ones are like monkeys who love to climb all over my back and hang on my neck!

While waiting for the anaesthetic to take effect, the nurse and he got busy with preparing the things needed for the small operation. As I was lying face down on the bed, I tried to get comfortable and decided to cross my arm under my forehead as the best position to prepare.

Dr. Gin was very communicative and talked me through whatever he was doing. I tried to close my eyes and not imagine what was happening but unfortunately, my imagination is very active- I peeked through during the surgery and saw lots of gauges with blood and decided, maybe I really shouldn’t be seeing it!!

I can feel Dr Gin patting my shoulder, I heard spray can being used (“are you spraying my hair Dr Gin??”) and then I felt the tugging on my skin. It kinda reminded me of the time I was giving birth and had to be sutured after the tearing. It wasn’t painful of course buy you just felt this buzzing feeling and a dull pulling. Dr Gin was indeed suturing the site of the surgery and happily chirped “We are almost done!”

In actually tried making light conversations with him and asked him about his work throughout this whole thing. I understood that this is indeed the beginning of the busiest period for skin surgery as most people only started noticing their growing moles when the clothing gets shed for summer. Just like me, I got worried that in the summer, the mole on my arm, which turned out to be a freckle, was going to get bigger and that’s when I made the appointment with the GP.

With the NHS being as stretched as it is and the Skin Clinic surgeries only open a few days a week, maybe it is best if we start noticing our suspicious moles throughout the year and not just in the lead up to summer. This way the surgeries can be spread nicely throughout the year and everyone can get the best possible attention necessary from every professional involved.

By now, Dr Gin was done with me. I got up slowly and looked at the ‘mess’ my shoulder blade has made. I asked to see the mole that was taken out. It was sitting in a sterile bottle and sealed, ready to be taken to the lab to confirm it isn’t melanoma. (This is me being positive here guys). I noticed and mentioned to Dr. Gin how deep it is and he confirmed that when he’s gone into the fatty layer (subcutaneous) that he knows he’s gone deep enough to be safe. I guess in most cases, if there’s melanoma, you want to make sure you get as much of it out in the first stance.

I was given a set of instructions from him on how to look after my op site and the nurse gave me extra gauze. As the stitches had to be removed in 10 days and can be done at the local GP, I asked him for a letter of explanation. In 10 days I’ll be soaking up music in Glastonbury and would probably be making my way to the onsite mobile clinic to have it done.

I left the hospital almost euphoric. And I’m sure it wasn’t the anaesthetic talking here! I felt literally a weight lifted off my shoulders. Even though in my heart I am pretty sure it wasn’t something worrying, I didn’t even want that 1% chance of it being otherwise.

Our skin is the body’s biggest living and growing organ and we don’t get the chance to have it as easily replaced as say the kidney or liver. I have always been very careful about looking after it (Thanks Mum for instilling the love for my skin at such a young age!) but now I’m going to be even more conscious.

It reminded me of a very talented young man who had a mole on his big toe. He was asked to have it removed. He reluctantly had his toenail removed. But then the medical professionals found out after that sample, it was indeed melanoma and that he needed to have his big toe amputated to stop it from growing. Said young man refused as he thought it’ll interfere with his love of music and football. He said he had faith that God will take care of him. Within months, he died of something small that could have been prevented. His story popped up on my screen just days before my surgery and it only confirmed to me I’m doing the right thing.

Said young man gone too soon, at the age of 36, was the amazing Bob Marley. The world lost a great talent to melanoma. I hope you and I won’t be the next.

Much love,

Helping Hand with Motherhood and Breastfeeding Journey with Annee Matthew

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When I was pregnant and breastfeeding in the early 2000 or as they say the Noughties, I barely hear many peeps about “Free the Nipple” or furore of women breastfeeding in public. Today it’s a different story. Breastfeeding in public has come up to the front of the news, pun unintended. But first, let me share this.

I started off my motherhood journey wearing whatever extra larger sized clothes I could lay my hands on. Then when that got uncomfortable, I admitted my tummy was protruding too much and ventured off to find maternity wear. I remember thinking that many were quite unfashionable and made my petite figure so lost in them. It was at this same time that I met a fabulous woman at my local pregnant mummy group. We clicked immediately and became fast friends. Annee shared that she was to become a mum for the second time and have felt the same as me in regards to maternity and the almost non- existent breastfeeding friendly wear.

She was to go on and create her own label of fashionable maternity wear which then doubles up as a discrete breastfeeding wear which then triples up as a fashionable mummy wear after the whole 9 months and beyond. I am proud to say that I am one of her most loyal and ardent supporters! Of course, it helps that being her best friend, I am eligible for massive discounts. 😉

Back to this furore.

The issue of women breastfeeding in public has only meant that more and more women are picking it up. I remember when I was pregnant with my no.2 in 2006 in Surrey, the maternity nurse was alarmed at the low take up rate of breastfeeding in the UK compared to the rest of Europe. Massive public education has meant more women realising the benefits of feeding their babies their own breast milk. But then this is where the problem probably began.

You can’t tell a modern woman to feed her baby only at home or go to the dirty public toilet to feed her precious child. She wants to be allowed to feed her child whenever it is necessary and at the demands of that baby. Try telling a grown man he looks disgusting eating that burger, slobbering away and to take it to the nearest toilet!

Truth be told, in my 8 years (2yrs x 4) of full on breastfeeding journey, I have barely encountered negative looks or comments to my breastfeeding. I feed my children everywhere. And I meant everywhere!! There’s photos of me feeding one baby at an upmarket event like Ascot Races, another celebrating a crazy New Year’s Eve party with hundreds of other ravers and another strolling calmly around IKEA.

You know what my secret is?

  • I was always completely calm when I’m feeding. I don’t draw any attention to myself. This means I try to pre-empt when a baby is about to get hungry or thirsty.
  • I always have a handy sling (NOT a baby carrier) in my bag or buggy. I keep baby close to my chest when needed and a sling is amazing for discreet feeding.
  • I only wear Annee Matthew clothes as they allow me to fully feed baby without exposing an inch of skin (without the need for a large feeding cover/bib/shawl). I may have been a half dressed belly dancer at one point yet I don’t want to expose more skin than necessary when it’s not about my art.

Annee is passionate about her label and helping mothers make it an easier job of what is already a demanding role, especially in the early days. So to help my mummy followers and friends, in conjunction with Mothers Day in Asia and the US, she is giving a 20% discount on her entire range just for me! Just quote GODDESS20 at the checkout and you will be automatically eligible for this discount. 

Go and checkout her gorgeous goddess clothes for you, whether you are expecting or feeding!! (or like me, none of the above!! Just love their comfort!)

New collection: Aubrey Nursing Tube Dress. Worn with a lace cardi and traditional Peranakan silver belt.

With the sun shining, this tube dress is perfect for baring the shoulders!

Aubrey Tube Dress worn with the cardigan loose over the shoulders.

The flexible material of the Aubrey meant that it accommodates a growing tummy (pregnancy) or a decreasing one (nursing) or just a fluctuating one! (like me!)

I do love this dress, and I’m no longer nursing!

Under this flap, is the super discrete nursing openings. It is enough to allow baby to reach the central part of the breast without the need to expose excess skin. Perfect for shy first-time mummies!
Please go to www.anneematthew.com to browse her amazing collection. Not just maternity wear, but also sporty wear for the active mums to comfortable nursing bras and lingerie. Her sizes go from the petite S to the larger 3XL so there is definitely something for someone of any taste!

Remember to quote GODDESS20 to get that amazing 20% discount on top of her already reasonable prices (prices quoted on the website are in Singapore dollars. Exchange rates at time of writing are SGD10: GBP5.07/USD7.35) For my readers residing outside of South East Asia, please email Annee at customerservice@anneematthew.com to get additional special rates on her international shipping fees. So yippee to anything to help my mummy followers create amazing bonding moments with their baby. ?

Hypothyroidism Symptoms – My Journey to my new Life

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As you have seen in my (quite long) vlog above, I have shared an extensive list of the symptoms common to hypothyroidism. If you missed it, here is the full list:

Symptoms of Hypothyroidism

  • Fatigue
  • Weakness
  • Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
  • Coarse, dry hair
  • Dry, rough pale skin
  • Hair loss
  • Cold intolerance (you can’t tolerate cold temperatures like those around you)
  • Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
  • Constipation
  • Depression
  • Irritability
  • Memory loss
  • Abnormal menstrual cycles
  • Decreased libido

What is missing from this list which I forgot to add to it is this too:

  • Dry, brittle nails

Just like dry, brittle hair, nails are made from the same materials as hair. I am already born with thin nails (genetics from my mum) and suffering from hypothyroidism has made it worse. My nails break easily and it’s flaky. I have tried all the products out there claiming to help make your nails stronger but sadly they are temporary. I used to spend hours in the nail salon putting on acrylic nails then I moved on to gel nails. Yes, I get pretty and shiny nails for a 1.5 weeks at best but when it’s time to remove them, the ‘ugliness’ shows up again. So now, I have resigned to just having short nails, nicely trimmed and filed and whenever I feel like it (or have the time to, really!) I’ll cover it with a nice coat or two of good quality nail polish.

  • Ulcers caused by tongue swelling

This is one symptom that’s very rarely written about in conventional medical list but spoken about a lot in patients’ forum. I get ulcers pretty much so often that it’s like my natural ‘dieting or weight loss’ path. I can’t eat and drink properly as it’s not just 1 or 2 that comes in one go, we are talking 4-5 at a time. I try my best to stay hydrated and to keep my liver clear (I rarely consume alcohol and eat as much organic and home cooked meals as often as possible) so the detoxification process can go on as normal.

Hypothyroidism affects more women than men and yet it’s also underdiagnosed. Many women think it’s part of the ageing process to have some of these symptoms and many are also ignored by the health professionals. You know your body best so please trust your instincts.

Just like I did mine and kept on looking for a sympathetic GP who will see that I was not just going crazy and making up an illness that wasn’t there, you too need to find someone who see that something is not right with your body.

I would love to hear of your story so please share how your journey has been.

If you want to read the story of how I came about to having this operation, read here: http://www.arnierozahkrogh.com/20110407_my-life-changing-day

For the next story of my recovery, read here: http://www.arnierozahkrogh.com/20110413_a-new-goddess-awakens-after-surgery

 

 

Celebrating Mothers Day with Other Mothers

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Today we celebrate Mothers Day. Or specifically in the United Kingdom, Mothering Sunday. It is not traditionally to be confused with the American Mothers Day, of which I’m much more used to celebrating these past 16 years. 

 Mothering Sunday is the fourth Sunday of Lent. Although it’s often called Mothers’ Day it has no connection with the American festival of that name. Traditionally, it was a day when children, mainly daughters, who had gone to work as domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother and family.

– Source: BBC 

Yesterday I was invited to be a speaker at a motherhood event by Kensington Mums. KM is an award winning website running for a few years, organising events for mothers in and around the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea. The event was being held at the newly open beautiful private members only club, South Kensington Club.

I was given free reign by the founder, Dina Maktabi, to speak about any topic of my choice. I thought about speaking on being a Global Citizen, raising 4 children made in 4 different countries and how to make them truly Global Citizens themselves. 

Somehow yesterday morning, a different thought crossed my mind. It was almost as if I had to ‘go back’ to the original version of Mothering Sunday. I had to ‘revisit’ my mum and late grandmother. A voice inside me said I had to talk about the 3 females that have inspired me in my motherhood journey. 

So yesterday, with shaking hands and legs, (I’m normally a confident speaker on stage, no matter the size of the crowd) not from nervousness but from deep emotions, I shared with the crowd my 3 inspirations: 

  1. My late grandmother: she adopted my mum and 3 more children and raised them as her own. Leaving Indonesia to seek a living in Singapore, her life wasn’t easy. It was of poverty. Yet she taught me about unconditional love and kindness for all. Whether it was a stray cat or dog or a ‘lost human’, she taught me that every soul just wants to be loved. She taught me to always open my door (home and heart) to anyone and anything that needs love and kindness. This woman died with not much money to her name but of boy, there were many who loved her for loving them, crying for the loss. 
  2. My own mother: I admitted to the crowd yesterday that growing up, I didn’t have the best of relationship with my mother. Specifically my teen years, the years when I wanted to quickly gain my independence. Yet I recognised now the reason we clashed a lot is because I am her in so many ways. She is the person who taught me about internal strength, perseverance, hard work and pride in myself. This woman was beaten by her own husband a few too many times. My so called father beat her badly during her pregnancy with me hoping she’ll miscarry me or I’ll die inside leaving him the opportunity then to be with his next ‘love’. My mum told me maybe this is where my strength came from: I could not be killed. Juggling 3 jobs to raise her children and to look after 2 ageing parents, I truly understood the power of hard work and what money means. She taught me to make my own clothes and encouraged me to develop my talents in arts and sports. No matter how tired she was from a night shift, she was always there cheering me on come Sports Day. No matter how tired she was from doing her own catering (she sold food on the side at work) she was always preparing things for my schools bake sales etc. I don’t think she’ll pass the test for ‘worlds best mum’ but she surely taught me the most important things a woman like me need to get on with my own life. A life full of adventure. 
  3. My mummy cat Galaxy: by the time I came to this point, many in the crowd had wet eyes. I didn’t mean to make them cry so I hoped they’ll laugh when I mentioned my cat. Which many did. Though I’m sure many were initially perplexed, as I’m sure you are my readers. Why my cat? Well.. She taught me about defying moulds. Stereotypes. And animal instincts. Of which we human, in this digital age, are slowly losing. Being a Pure Breed Persian Seal Point, her breed is known as the ‘Royal’ cat. They need a lot of attention yet they don’t give it back. They are aloof and don’t make good mothers. Many a times, they don’t even know how to mother their new born babies. I believe Galaxy was sent by the Universe to me to reinforce my own motherhood instincts and views. You see, Galaxy became pregnant at the same time I was pregnant with Asger. Though being a cat, she gave birth to him 2 months before me. Against her breed’s stereotype, she breastfeed him longer than the average 8-12 weeks. She was still breastfeeding him till he was 9 months old!! Milo became bigger than his mum yet there he was, like a baby, still cuddling up to his mummy looking for love. She always knew when he wanted to play (again, for her breed, she is extremely playful!) and when he needed a lick and a cuddle. I used to watch her in amazement and would ask the universe, ‘Is she my teacher?’ Milo is now coming up to 6 years of age and she still mothers him when she sensed its necessity. I can tell sometimes he doesn’t like it when she licks him unnecessarily yet like this week, he’s been ill. He doesn’t move away when mummy comes to show him love. This is the mothering instinct I’m talking about. Knowing when to stay away when our children needs their independence and when to move in and shower them with love at the exact time it’s needed. 

I also shared a bit more about my own motherhood journey and my lessons. Post-Natal Depression (PND), of which I got pretty badly with Amelia, my no.2, became a central point for half the afternoon. What many mothers didn’t realise is that ‘baby blues’ hit 3 out of 4 mothers. Only 1/4 is severe. Meaning 2/4 mothers didn’t even know what they were going through and could have done with some professional help. And it was indeed eye opening when many admitted that they didn’t even know the feeling of extreme ‘tiredness, helplessness, incompetence and malaise’ could have been attributed to PND/PNB and it wasn’t just failure on their part. 

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, being a mother is one of the toughest unpaid job in the world. Not putting fatherhood and fathers down (I am married to the best example of fathers in my eyes) I think mothers, especially in many parts of the world, have it so difficult. They are not allowed to mother their children with their instincts because their society tells them otherwise. Be it through patriarchy or media stereotype (this is how you should do it, this is how you shouldn’t do it, this is how babies are supposed to be fed/clothed, you should feel this way or that etc) mothers are more confused than ever. The more information is poured down, the more we are made to feel incompetent. 

I say this: there is no perfect way to mother. There is only YOUR WAY. Take the best advice in your eyes, put a dash of humour and pour in a whole lot of instincts. Then seal it with kindness and patience, the end will be delicious. It may not be a dish liked by others but it should be a dish that’s perfect FOR YOU. 

Happy Mothering Sunday to all my inspiring and inspirational mothers celebrating it today. Your work can never be done by someone else. ❤️

With the founder of Kensington Mums, Dina Maktabi
Being photographed by ImageThirst, as part of the event
Your Speaker

All 4 speakers, getting ready for the Q&A
  
    
  

My Personal Tips to Saving Money on Dental Care

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Smile your best smile!

Running a household involves a lot of budgeting and of course it doesn’t get cheaper the more kids you have.

In my time as a mum, I’ve heard too many times from friends and family living all over the world about the more expensive aspect of dental care. Many a time, dental care is not as widely covered under health insurances as normal medical bills.

So how do we avoid spending unnecessary family budget on that aspect? In the UK, we are very lucky that dental care is pretty much free for all children regardless of their parents income. Even orthodontics are free for them. (Having said all that, we are currently paying for our eldest daughter’s special orthodontics)

I have barely spent any money on seeing the dentist since I left school and had to pay for the whitening of my teeth after 2.5 years of wearing a set of metal braces. Why not keep it that way for as long as possible, right? My husband and our 4 children are now sharing the same methods.

My only bill? Paying £18 (USD 25) for an NHS dental inspection to get that all green light every 6 months. Happy Days! 🙂

I’ve shared below all the methods I use to keep my teeth sparkling clean, my gums pink and my breath fresh.

If you have enjoyed this blog post on dental health, how about checking out my tongue health blog post? It might just surprise you what it can actually do for your extended health.

Post has been updated in April 2020 during the tough pandemic period, resulting in a record number of unemployment. I hope this article can help anyone looking to save some money while keeping healthy.

My First Ever New Year’s Resolution and A New Family Tradition 

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Well.. For those who’ve read my writings and followed me for a while will know that I’m not the type for New Year’s resolutions. I find it a little corny as many I know who makes them, ended up losing it within the 1st quarter of the year.

I believe in goals with a slightly flexible time frame that turns into journeys. I can make them any time I want, any month of the year and execute them as I see fit. I have been making goals since I could remember having memories. Literally as a little girl. One of my earliest memory of my goal was wanting to be on stage and winning a storytelling competition. I did it at 6 yrs old.

Somehow since turning 40, my heart has had a little change. Maybe I’m getting soft? Wanting to join the crowd rather than beating my own path? I don’t know. Anyhow, I thought 2016 would be a great year nonetheless. I feel it ‘in my bones’ that my life’s success will just keep on riding and so.. Why the heck not make a resolution list for the fun of it.

This year we had a quiet New Year’s Eve dinner compared to years past. We didn’t feel like going out partying and the people we were supposed to join up with had a last minute urgent issue to attend to. Eschewing hiring a babysitter for the night, we decided to organise a restaurant-style menu, the husband and I, and just cuddle on the sofa all 6 of us while ringing in the new year. We made steamed lobster tails with lemon and herb butter sauce (my 1st time and I have to say, I did a good job! ?) and pan fried then oven roasted Gressingham duck breasts with my special thick orange sauce. For the parents, there was also duck liver on the side. Served with simple pan steamed tender stems of broccoli.

The eldest daughter wanted beef so she got Beef Wellington.

Steamed Lobster Tails with Herb Lemon Butter Sauce

 

Gressingham Duck Breast with Orange Sauce

 

It was during our (quite late) dinner that I hit upon my resolution idea and wanted to rope the family in on it as an impromptu ‘game’. This was after all the fun of popping the poppers and playing with all the crackers games.

When I first asked everyone my question, the girls groaned thinking their mummy is being so naff. I persevered anyway and told them they have a few minutes to think about it as we enjoyed our delicious meal.

My questions were:

  1. What do you want to achieve physically this year? Something you can see as a success?
  2. What do you want to do more of this year? Something that isn’t as tangible as producing results but will make you or society better for it. 
  3. What do you want the family to achieve this year? A family goal. 

 

I guess everything new needs a little getting used to so I told everyone it has to come from the heart and laugh at their answer if they want to. I turned to the husband and winked at him, “Since you’re the man of the house, you have the honour of going first!”

His answers were:

  1. To lose some weight and get back his fitness level to be healthier as he prepares to enter his 50th year in a couple of short years. 
  2. To play more of his drum kit as it makes him happy plus it’s a workout and acts as an encouragement for the kids musically. 
  3. To play more boisterous games with the younger ones as they seem to have boundless energy resulting in hyper noises even when they seem tired. 

 

Our 3 active younger ones

I absolutely loved hearing his goals and how fast he got into the swing of things. Or my ‘silly dinner game’ as they first thought.

So now it’s my turn to share with them. And with all my readers and followers as it may be the case here:

  1. To seriously get my book finished and published by the early second half of the year. (The idea to write a book has been brewing for years and I had a few titles in mind. I couldn’t make up my mind until certain coincidences convinced me that this idea is IT) 
  2. To get back into being a volunteer for the (lonely) elderlies. I have always believed in doing charitable work and being a volunteer. 2015 was spent volunteering for abused immigrant/domestic workers. When I first moved to England in 2004, my first volunteer work was with “Friends of The Elderly”. I was a home visitor, I would read their newspapers, do some cleanup and then spent time just chatting with them and making them laugh. I loved my late grandmother very much and feel close to her when I’m around the elderly. 
  3. I want to spend more time travelling with the kids and hubby this year. Even if it’s just to say Liverpool or ‘crossing the border’ into Wales. As it is, we have already planned travels for Feb, March and April. Travelling opens up our horizons, relaxes the mind somehow, and teaches us to be tolerant and patient in some ways. And in the Krogh’s family case, we seem to make friends every time we travel. 

 

Where will your journey take you?

 

We also heard our 2 eldest girls 3 goals. Now we know what they really want to and how we can help them achieve it. It was very interesting to hear how different those 2 girls goals were yet the family ones were similar. So now I’ve put it out there. You can grill me, ask me, share with me.

 

My son and I on a journey. Where will yours lead to?

My question for you, would you try this game with your own family? If you do, I’d love to hear from you and what your children’s answer will be. And maybe even yours too! 🙂

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