What Would You Do?

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A sample picture of what the ring looks like

I got into my car this morning and saw something round gleaming in the drinks’ holder. I looked closer and saw what seemed to be a large golden ring. I picked it up, had a good look at it and wondered how it got into my car in the night.

I thought, “Maybe an angel donated a ring to me” but had to smile at that idea. I decided to give my DH a call as he had used my car last night. I got the answer about the mystery of the ring.

Apparently, while driving home from work in Basel, he came across a British licensed car. It was stranded along the road just into the French border and the man looked pretty distressed. DH decided to stop, seeing many cars had whizzed by when the man waved his arm. DH described that the man was of brownish skin tone and had 2 small children with a wife who had a scarf on.

He wasn’t certain if they were of Middle Eastern origin or of the Romany gypsy background. The man spoke not a word of English. The basic French my DH could muster (My DH’s knowledge of French is basic and with the hand gestures movements), he (worked out/got the inkling) got the idea that the man had run out of petrol and had no money to pay for it as his card was apparently blocked. He begged my DH to help him with some money so he could drive further and get to his destination.

My DH debated whether this was the moment he’s either be a ‘schmuck’ or a ‘saint’. He decided to take out whatever Euros he had in his wallet and give it to this (stranger) man. The man looked really happy (relief) and promised to give (return) DH the money as soon as he could by asking for DH’s mobile phone number and house (home) address. He also insisted on giving DH the ring on his finger as a sort of deposit (pledge?) on his promise. DH declined but the man insisted.

I asked hubby why he didn’t just go to the petrol station and buy a jerry can of petrol for the man as that’s a more genuine help (in my opinion). But DH said the call of the bladder was strong so he had to keep driving the last 25 km to our house. And when I asked DH why he decided to help, his answer was, “If it’s genuine, I can’t let 2 small children sit in a car while their father pleads for help till God knows when. I just think of them.” It was kind of payback time.

This reminded me of our own unfortunate incident. In 2005, we drove from the UK to the South of France (a whopping 1600 km journey). Sometime in the middle of the night, our gas tank looked like it was nearing empty. DH decided to turn off the main road to look for a small village pump. But before we could find one, the car abruptly stopped. It was very, very dark, no lights anywhere and there was no such thing as iPhone or Blackberry then that we could do a search on maps to find information online.

We prayed for someone to come along to help. I flagged a car that was driving, with reggae music blasting out from its speakers. The man was my black angel. He spoke fluent English (which we didn’t expect in that villagey region of France) and offered to drive DH to what he knew was the nearest petrol pump. We had to trust that DH was going to be safe with this man and that his little family would not encounter any more problems sitting on the side of a pitch black road. My reggae artist saved us that night.

Now it makes me wonder if this man was really genuine. Or was he one of those scam artist who uses women and children to further his ‘art’. Or could it be this man was an angel sent from above to test if my hubby had any humanity in him? Who knows…

As for now, that ring sits in my car, waiting for its owner to claim it or if we never hear from him, I might just take it to the jewellers to see if it’s genuine…

What would you have done had you been in my husband’s shoes? And have you been through something similar?

 

Friendships for Nomads

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When you travel around the world and live in as many places as I do, how do you (view) look at your friendships?

I (delved) really looked at this issue as my daughter begins a new week of school in a new country and a new location. Some of you who know me personally would know that I was having a bit of a tough time trying to help my 10-year-old with her transition into a French high school or college as it’s known here.

The whole summer she was happy as a bumblebee can be. We thoroughly enjoyed the myriad of activities Switzerland and France had to offer with the extra hours of sunshine compared to The Hague.

But come Sunday night last week, my DD1 had trouble getting her things ready for a Monday morning beginning. As a typical mum, I chided her for dilly-dallying only to find her in a somewhat black-faced mood in her room. I asked in my softest voice, “What’s the matter really?” only to have her collapsed in my arms in heaving sobs.

“I miss my best friend terribly. I want to go back to The Hague. But I know I can’t. Mummy, what if they forget all about me? What if they won’t remember me any more?”

This sensitive girl of mine made me teary too. Yes, I totally understood that even though she was worried about having to pick up 2 new languages in her new school (French and German), she was more concerned about the friendships she’d built up over the course of 3.5 years in the Netherlands.

We spoke about friendships and what friendships mean to each other. I shared with her my own experiences as a nomadic person and also having lost good friends over the years without email and Facebook to help keep us in touch. I still have the old letters from my good friends who had moved back to Poland and Bulgaria respectively. I also had a really amazing best friend who left me to be with her God.

I shared with my daughter how I have coped with losing friends and moving on. I also told her how lucky she was born when she was born to still be able to keep in touch with her friends from 3 countries (3 different schools) through emails and Facebook.

As a mother, I can console her and share her woes and fears. As a professional coach, I have given her some tools to help her cope with this difficult time.

What does friendship mean to you?

Atiya Rehman said, “There can be a million miles between you, you can not speak for months or even years but everytime you meet, everything is just how it is meant to be – just as you remember it. Those are real friends”.

Whereas Vanessa Brautigam wrote, “Friends are true friends when you can share everything with them and they won’t tell others.”

And Zee Ali Thompson said, “Real friendship it’s all about being there for each other”.

Do oceans and mountains hinder your friendships? Do you have different or similar ideas? Have you ever been in my or my daughter’s shoes? Share with us!

 

Weekly Routine or Daily Happiness?

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This is the start of another week, have you decided how it should be for you?

Many people wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, get dressed for work, get in their office, have lunch, go home, eat dinner then go to bed. Repeat daily. What happens in between? What are you thinking off in between those actions?

Do you enjoy your weekends? Do you then look forward to the coming week? Do you jump out of bed full of excitement or do you sigh and think, ‘Ugh, another week of boring work’?

A client once asked me ‘How do you stay so excited? How are you always so positive?’

If there’s a secret to this is that I’m always feeling blessed. Yes, blessed! Or some people may say it’s feeling lucky.

I am ‘lucky’ that I’m alive, with all my faculties, I have food on the table and even the fact that I’m able to write this to people from all over the world is amazing.

I open my eyes every morning and smile that I live to see another day of kissing my husband to work and cuddling my children. I look out the window and smile to see my cats chasing the birds. I beam when I see the chilli peppers growing beautifully on the plants I’ve nurtured for months.

We all have days that we feel is ‘shitty’ (pardon my French) and it’s ok to have some of those days. I go through hours where I’m a bit down but I don’t let it get to me. Nor should it to you.

I am happy because I’m positive. I’m positive because I’m happy. See the ‘vicious’ circle?

We all share one thing as humans- the faculty of reasoning that comes with choice. Living in a free world, we all have choices. A choice to be happy today and always or to let someone else upset you for the rest of your life.

So what is your choice when it comes to being happy and positive? Will you wake up and make every day a routine or will you wake up, look at the sky and let happy exciting things come your way?

If you have trouble deciding, maybe something is blocking your thoughts. Maybe you need someone like me to help unlock that kink in your water hose? If that kink is loosened, imagine the flow of water (positive thoughts) that can go your way. Don’t hesitate to ask for help.

Life Saving in 15 Minutes

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I mentioned in my last post how after my operation, my health has gone down the drain a little bit and it hasn’t been helped with all the stresses of an international move. But a true fighter doesn’t let a little setback keep him/her down.

I have started a new fitness regime to get back my pre-natal and pre-illness body and health. Getting fit from ‘fat’ is never an easy route. I don’t do yo-yo dieting and neither should you. I get back to the basics.

Did you know that recently an 8 year study from researchers in Taiwan has just proven that 15 minutes of physical activity a day can substantially reduce your risk of death by 14 percent and increase your life expectancy by three years?

Just FIFTEEN minutes! That is short enough to not make those of you out there averse to exercising feel burdened. Of course the longer you can go, the better. But 15 minutes daily or a total of 105 minutes a week is the least recommended amount to keep you healthy and to ward off diseases affecting your organs.

Today more people in the developed world are dying of diseases like heart failure, diabetes, cancer and even the common flu. If you could postpone death to a ripe old age of at least 80, after enjoying life fully with your loved ones, wouldn’t you?

This study, published by The Lancet, being conducted in Taiwan, was more concerned with Asians, who tend to lead a more sedentary lifestyle than people living in the West. Or if they do exercise, it was less intense.

Now why would you want to spend at least 15 minutes daily exercising? There is of course the question of your mortality. (yes we all die eventually but let’s make it a beautiful one, shall we?) Being healthy saves you tonnes of money. How? You get less sick, means less trips to the doctor means less money being paid to insurances/bills/medications.

Oh no! Jeans are the wrong size!
Oh no! Jeans are the wrong size!

You don’t gain weight so again less money spent on buying different sized clothes to fit your ‘growing’ body. But then again, you may want to treat your beautiful, healthy body to that fabulous designer dress you’ve been saving for, go ahead!

And because you are less often ill, you don’t have to worry about taking extra time off work, especially if you are daily rated worker or an entrepreneur like me. You get to work hard on the job and then, take a well deserved break for yourself or with your loved ones.

There are many more wonderful reasons why you should exercise and keep healthy. I’m sure you’ll find yours soon enough. For me, it’s a matter of life and death, almost, but that’s for another post.

So still no idea what 15 minutes of life saving exercise you can do? Here’s some tip:-

  • Walk up and down the stairs if you live in an apartment block. Make sure you go slowly in the beginning but end with a light sweat.
  • Shadow boxing the wall. You can always put a picture of a dictator like Ghaddafi on it and pretend that you’re giving him some moves. Make sure you switch sides and don’t lock your elbow when you punch out.
  • Get yourself a mini trampoline and jump up and down on it like a 3 year old child again. It’s great to get your heart rate going and strengthen your bones.

    Jump Like a Carefree Child!
  • Go biking around your neighbourhood and beyond. Discover new trails, new sceneries and maybe even meet new friends.
  • Still don’t like these ideas? How about working out while cooking or cleaning? I have taught my students to incorporate my Goddess Fitness Therapy movements while working at home. Say you’re cooking one of your yummy calorie laden recipe, squeeze your buttocks intermittently and then do large hip circles as if you’re using a hula hoop. Switch directions then jog on the spot while stirring that pot of curry. Easy peasy!

Now tell me that saving your own life and health takes too much work.

A Lesson in Love

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Love is all around us

There are so many things in Life that are very important to a man (or woman to those who prefer). Air, water and food are the 3 basic needs in order to SURVIVE. On a physiological level, that is all very true. But what about not just surviving, but really living Life? What do we really need?

I must say this is a weekend that has shown me that LOVE is really important. But, what kind of love? And what is love really? Let me count the ways…

Love is having your child give you her pocket money to buy you a much-loved yoga lesson for your birthday instead of on some silly trinket that you’ll end up throwing away.

Love is waking up to breakfast in bed, made by your children, no matter how messy or inappropriate the breakfast is.

Love is human and animals living in peace

Love is really enjoying the weekends that are so precious when your other half lives in another country and only home those 2 days to comfort and cuddle you.

Love is having to discipline your children when they are naughty even when the source of that naughtiness is them missing their absent father.

Love is feeling absolute joy when hearing that a really good friend has been cleared of cancer at this time.

Love is travelling for hours to get good, fresh food that your loved ones crave or slaving in the kitchen making them their favourite food.

Love is crying your heart out when you hear that your mum is ill so far away or crying to hear that your beloved father in law in finally out of an unhappy relationship that has deteriorated his health.

Love is wanting to take away the pain and suffering of your loved ones when they are ill so they’ll be spared.

Love is feeling pride that your children performed well in their school plays.

Love is cuddling together…

Love is stroking your pets in moments of quiet tenderness and knowing that that’s all they ask of you.

Love is feeling angry at injustices done to a really good friend who doesn’t deserve it.

Love is feeling your heart swell when looking at your sleeping child/partner and knowing they are the most beautiful and peaceful person on Earth.

Love is above all, emotions that run the gamut from high to lows, really appreciating the people and animals that surround you to make for a more enriching life. Love is knowing that all these are lessons to make us love ourselves, even more, every day.

I love it that you love reading my blog!

Gardening Therapy for Stressed out Beings

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ArnieRozahKrogh.com- Learning to be a Gardening Goddess Starts Young
Learning to be a Gardening Goddess Starts Young

 

Yes! It has been another weekend filled with events. Tiring, running-around-while-DH-is here kind of weekend. It didn’t help that I was having a cold. I was thankful that it didn’t last as long as flu, no fever, no chills. Despite a slightly blocked nose, I feel good today and that must have certainly been helped by my morning therapy, gardening. It is now coming to summer in the Northern Hemisphere and a great time to start planting the flowering plants into the earth (if you have a garden) or to re-pot them to larger ones if you have an apartment balcony like me.
I came from a “kampung”, a village, in Singapore, where I was surrounded by lots of nature. My early toys, besides a ragdoll, were the animals roaming around our courtyard, the trees that I used to climb and plants that I used as part of my ‘recipe’ for my “masak-masak” (cooking) games. I had a granddad who was a professional gardener and taught me a lot about the diverse plants growing in our huge garden. Being a typical rambunctious child, I didn’t want to spend time looking at them, I wanted to climb them or pluck the flowers.

But of course, I just realised that as an adult, some of those early lessons must have been cemented in my brain as slowly, some of his advice bubbled up to the surface as I played with the soil and plants. As I watered my herbs and lovingly tend to my flowering plants, I just feel such joy. The sun shining in the early morning, with baby Asger babbling away in his chair, bees circling above our heads, I couldn’t think of anything more relaxing while working with my hands.

It brings me to my point that gardening IS a certified form of therapy. Recently, the British Ministry of Defence (MOD) has started gardening therapy for all their injured soldiers to help in their rehabilitation. It is not just learning about flowers and plants when you garden, it’s about working with nature, appreciating another form of life and being lost in your own thoughts, kind of like meditating. From my own experience, I have this to share.

My mum came to stay with me in the UK in 2005/06. She was severely overweight, suffered from asthma, high blood pressure and had a high cholesterol level. She was taking lots of medication to control these health issues but she was also just stressed out from her daily grind of living in Singapore. When we started gardening together in my garden in Surrey, I saw her smile in her deep thoughts. She shared how it was just like living back in the kampung days, playing with soil, and eating what she grew.

My mother’s blood pressure, weight and cholesterol level slowly dropped the more she breathed in the sweet perfume of our lavender plant, eating homemade salads with rocket, basil and mint grown in our garden and just with the general bending movements of a typical gardening day. She was also looking more relaxed just sitting amongst the flowers, playing with the cat that decided to sit next to her, enjoying the sunshine. And that was what I wanted to do too, in the spring of 2010.
I was pregnant with baby 3, Asger, and was suffering from depression. The winter had been very severe (I also had SAD), I was living in a house/apartment that was taking longer than expected to renovate and I was feeling the general emotional turmoil of a pregnant woman, away from her mother and sister. I knew I was suffering from depression (thank God for my profession eh?) but I couldn’t find anything to do that made me happy enough. Until spring came of course. Then with the sun shining shyly behind the clouds, I found my perfect medicine. I started talking to my blooms, yes, I did the talking like a mad woman thing! It has been said that plants do react to human interaction and that classical music does improve their growth. I didn’t play classical music but I had Tropical/Samba music in the background, with a shawl tight around my cold neck and a 3-year-old for a company, I found my Goddess self again. I haven’t looked back since.

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If you have found that you might be losing a zest for life or with human interaction, then you might want to try gardening therapy for a while. Plants do not judge you but will tell you if you have been treating it well through its growth. If you don’t feel like talking to anyone, then let your fingers do the talking. If you are beginning to feel that the world is not beautiful anymore, just look at the myriad of colours in the Natural World. From the brightest of sunflower yellow to the reddest of roses to the greenest of herb leaves, there are many colours there to choose to match your mood. Just sit back and watch the plants absorb the sunlight, one of their food, and interact with bees, flies and insects.

A good gardening session should leave you dirty in your fingernails but clean in your heart and mind! Try it tomorrow!

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ArnieRozahKrogh.com- Sunflower, the flower that lifts your soul up!

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